How deeply I love Him
There are so many thoughts in my mind those days. One week ago, our Hope Brisbane Christian Church held Oceania Convention 2008. The theme was “IMMERSION”- A contextualised Church. God spoke to me so much about my past, about my purpose, about my calling…
I really could not deny God’s amazing work in my heart and my life! Still remember how God healed my emotion hurt, still remember how He lifted me up when I was down, still remember how He showed my calling vision to vision.
I truely surrendered before God during this O.C. I could feel His touch so deep, so real, so warm. He did confirm my calling and He did teach me how to humble and how to really contextualise with different cultures, especially now with Australian people.
Jesus is truely a holy name, I never ever love a person like Him! He deserves all my love, He deserves all my praise and worship, He deserves to be king of king, Lord of Lord! I am so gratituded that I knew His beautiful name and invited Him in my life! And I will sing His greatness forever and ever, I will let the whole world know His righteousness and faithfulness!
It was quite interesting, when I were thinking about my love for Jesus. Chris let the girls’ discussion group write a love letter for our Lord-Jesus Christ last Friday during Life group.
Here is my love letter for Him (4th April, 2008)
Dear Lord/ My Heavenly Father,
How can I keep aways singing for your greatness and faithfulness in my life!
The love for you could only be described by every moment I am awake. In the morning, I praise Your light for the whole earth. I love breathing the fresh air and touching the wind that You created; I love every night You calm me down and make me fall asleep sweetly. Lord I love You when you lift me up, I love You no matter what happen you aways smile to me.
Lord, the love that I want to explain to You is much more than the stars and much deeper than the sea! The love will last forever and I am willing to go wherever You go and experienced what you have experienced! Lord-Jesus Christ, my lover forever.
Your precious daughter,
Sunny
Put me in the desperation
Haven’t writen the blog for ages…It is not because my brain stops thinking, my eyes stop observing, my soul stops singing, but because my spirit starts crying…
Life seems tougher and tougher for me. Never thought that my life will become like this. Graduation means unemployed, growing up seems losing the relationship with families, job seems only for living, 25 years old means marriage.
While, now I am still working in Mccafe for 3 days, every time feel exhausted and wondering why I got the degree but still need to work so hard like this, what kind of life I have right now? Why I studied so hard and got the degree but it is useless? Where is my passion? Where is my dream?
Every time talk with sister online, sister is always busy and no time talks with me, except concerns whether I find a job or not. How sad it is! Every time talk with parents, they seem more care about my visa and job issue, especially dad. He always reminds me not to participate church activities too much then ignore the things that I need to do.
Nearly 25 years old, people always remind me you need to find a boyfriend then get married. That seems very common I need to get ready for marriage since I already graduated and getting older.
Before I always turned to families to gain counselling, however, now seems no one in the family could understand my situation, my feeling and my pain. No one I could talk to, because I know it is meanless.
Me-Now..really understand what is the feeling of desperation and hopeless. I really understand why in Bible it said your families and friends will hate you because of me, why the Bible said that we are living for pleasing God not for people, why the Bible said the joy and peace that I gave to you not like the world, why the Bible said taking my yoke it is not a burden but it is a light……
I praise God that He put me in such desperate situation, I praise God that He is training my character through those tough time, I praise God that I experience more about the people’s pain, I praise God that He broke my heart like broke His……
Lord, I praise You for everything……I really wanna know how much pain I can bear, how much faith I have on You… Test me and use me as a great testmony…Jesus!!
