Put me in the desperation
Haven’t writen the blog for ages…It is not because my brain stops thinking, my eyes stop observing, my soul stops singing, but because my spirit starts crying…
Life seems tougher and tougher for me. Never thought that my life will become like this. Graduation means unemployed, growing up seems losing the relationship with families, job seems only for living, 25 years old means marriage.
While, now I am still working in Mccafe for 3 days, every time feel exhausted and wondering why I got the degree but still need to work so hard like this, what kind of life I have right now? Why I studied so hard and got the degree but it is useless? Where is my passion? Where is my dream?
Every time talk with sister online, sister is always busy and no time talks with me, except concerns whether I find a job or not. How sad it is! Every time talk with parents, they seem more care about my visa and job issue, especially dad. He always reminds me not to participate church activities too much then ignore the things that I need to do.
Nearly 25 years old, people always remind me you need to find a boyfriend then get married. That seems very common I need to get ready for marriage since I already graduated and getting older.
Before I always turned to families to gain counselling, however, now seems no one in the family could understand my situation, my feeling and my pain. No one I could talk to, because I know it is meanless.
Me-Now..really understand what is the feeling of desperation and hopeless. I really understand why in Bible it said your families and friends will hate you because of me, why the Bible said that we are living for pleasing God not for people, why the Bible said the joy and peace that I gave to you not like the world, why the Bible said taking my yoke it is not a burden but it is a light……
I praise God that He put me in such desperate situation, I praise God that He is training my character through those tough time, I praise God that I experience more about the people’s pain, I praise God that He broke my heart like broke His……
Lord, I praise You for everything……I really wanna know how much pain I can bear, how much faith I have on You… Test me and use me as a great testmony…Jesus!!
Chris_Esther said,
March 26, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Consider it pure joy, Sunny, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything…(james 1:2-4)
Sunny said,
March 27, 2008 at 7:24 am
Thanks for your encouragement, my dear sister!!
Jimmie Thongkul said,
March 27, 2008 at 1:29 pm
I faced such a painful experience last year I told you! But believe me sister once you pass it, you will get stronger and you will be a ready vessel for Him to use.
Job 23:10 But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold.
your daughter said,
March 28, 2008 at 2:23 pm
amen
Chris_Esther said,
April 1, 2008 at 11:20 am
Huh?!!! Who’s our daughter???ALREADY?
Sunny said,
April 1, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Haha…it is Steph…she called me “Mum” for a year..I think…you didn’t know that??!!