How much more I can bear?
Just finished the driving test…unfortunately, I failed the test..Sigh..I believe God is really doing something in my life..I have no job around 3 months, even just wanna pass my driving test during this free time, I failed..Many times, my driving instructor warns me you should do this otherwise you will fail it straight away. I was listening and scared about this word “failure”. It is a word, nobody wants to hear, me either. I never want to be a failure person, instead, I want to be on top. I was very discouraged and upset about the failure of the driving test, but somehow I can rejoice again because I know all the negative thoughts are from Satan rather than God. I picked up myself again.
At the same time, I asked God how much more you want to test me. I started to think about the prophecy words that some leader gave to me during the Sub-district Advance that God gave the JOY to me as my strength so I can use it to bring JOY and HOPE to other people. I am so grateful that God gave me all the JOY and postive thoughts always. Looking at my past, my life seems alright and I got all the things that I want and achieve, everything goes well; it is so easy to be joyful when things are going well. However, God is challenging me even my world fall, can I still find joy in Him and do I still trust in Him & love Him wholeheartedly. Day by day, I realise somehow my happiness rely on my circumstance-my good result in study, my good paid job or other stuff.
I question God how much more I can bear. I have nothing left..nothing except Jesus Christ. It seems I become more and more passive about my life and future day after day. But I believe that when I start to surrender my life to Him, He will lift me up! My prayer is my JOY will ONLY find in Jesus Christ-my salvation and eternal life, which will make me overflow with JOY!
I am poor and weak all I have is yours-every single breath…Lord, here I am..thanks for all the brokenesses, whatever You want to do in this life. Just do it… I will choose to be joyful in YOU and for YOU only. Even if my world will fall, above all, I live for YOUR glory.
